Confidence Quotes (2439 quotes)
How To Stop Caring What People Think Of You
How to Stop Worrying About What Other People Think of You
Everyone wants to be liked and accepted, but many of us spend too much time and energy worrying about what other people think. You might not even realize you're doing it, but these kinds of mental gymnastics are unhealthy and stressful, making us feel unworthy and removing our attention from the present moment. Here are four steps to help you stop worrying about what other people think, designed to help you maintain healthier and happier relationships with yourself and others. In order to break the cycle, it's important to understand where the energy is coming from. We've been socialized by a culture that sets norms for our belongingness. From birth, we're taught we should act a certain way, dress a certain way, buy certain products, and adhere to certain ideologies to be liked and accepted.
Being concerned about what happens to other people is natural and normal - an indicator of your feelings for them. This is the basis of family and community life, the 'glue' that holds us all together. It encourages us to look out for and help each other, and so further strengthen the bonds between us. And of course when something really difficult happens to people we love, like a serious illness, or a job loss, or a major bereavement, or some other painful event, we are going to focus on the person concerned much more than usual. We will talk about them, visit them, try to find ways to help and generally spend considerable time and energy devoting ourselves to their trouble, sometimes at considerable cost to ourselves.
Why in the world would you care what others are doing with their lives, why in the world would you stress about their actions and behaviors? Let them live their lives the way they know, the way they think is best for them. If you keep on worrying about others, if you are always looking to see what they are doing, you will have no time to work on yourself. You will have no time to improve and grow. I was going to visit my mother the other day and I was in the car with a lady, some kind of relative. Instead of empathizing with the poor woman, she started throwing garbage at her and saying all these horrible things about her. And while doing this, she was so emotional, so frustrated and mad about what that person has done.
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We get by. Think about a time when you were extremely anxious — say, before standing up to publicly speak, raising your hand in a big meeting, or even walking through a room of strangers. The reason you felt small and scared and tense is you were worried about social disapproval. A craving for social approval made our ancestors cautious and savvy; thousands of years ago, if the responsibility for the failed hunt fell on your shoulders, your place in the tribe could be threatened. The desire to fit in and the paralyzing fear of being disliked undermine our ability to pursue the lives we want to create.